Looking Back on the (Hard to See) Gifts of 2020 for Your Marriage

There are so many ways to describe 2020. But we think some of the most accurate descriptions come from the various T-shirt memes circling the Internet...

In just about every conversation these days, someone, at some point, says something like, “2020 has been a horrible year."

And, of course, there are valid reasons for viewing this last year as a social, political, and public health dumpster fire. Racial unrest. A divisive election. And the global pandemic that has kept us inside, homeschooling our kids, and in a perpetual state of confusion over what's safe to do or whether scheduling a playdate for your kid will turn you into a social pariah.

It’s all true. 2020 has been a very difficult year.

But during this holiday season, we think it’s worth taking a step back as a couple and looking at the gifts of this year.

We know that sounds crazy. But these moments of extreme challenge and disruption are also the moments when we grow most, as individuals and as a couple.

So as you relax and enjoy your socially-distant holiday, consider these questions together.

Questions

1. What positive new habits or rituals have emerged for you in 2020?

2. What are the strengths you've noticed in yourself during this year?

3. What are the strengths you’ve noticed in your partner?

4. What about the two of you as a couple?

5. Are there any positive changes in your 2020-life that you want to hold onto if/when we return to the "new normal"?

6. How has 2020 changed your priorities?

7. 2020 has reminded all of us that life is short, full of uncertainty, and impermanent. If something were to happen to you in this next year, what would you want your partner to know?

8. What's your dream for yourself in 2021?

9. What's your dream for the two of you as a couple in 2021?